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August 12

Words from the World

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
August 01

Lebanon, The East's Paradise

-- East's Paradise --

 

 

How it started and where did it reach?

You left for happiness on the shores of your beach,

Songs of joy, love and peace where surrounding you,

I was watching it in my dream happily & praying for you,

Trying to sketch you in my memory with a magical brush,

In order to hang your painting that has a lovely touch,

I woke up of my dream to watch the tears & blood scenes,

Covering the painting harmfully, I wondered, what it means?

Tears, fear and anger are the features on every face,

Ghosts and sleepless nights covered the whole place,

How the East's Paradise changed into a grave,

Where innocent people are buried while being fully brave,

We watch and talk about everything like chewing gum,

And cry and shout while they use rocket and gun,

How it started and where did it reach,

The East's Paradise is crying on the shores of its beach,

Hey Wassim, your heart is burning like a flame,

From watching the hitting of civilized for no aim,

East's Paradise will rise in the sky like before,

It asks for a move from people who are faithful & pure.

 

By Rose Fragrance

http://www40.brinkster.com/nicenice313/

December 24

What do u think??

AN AMAZING CONCLUSION

 


1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

 

 

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

 

 

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

 


4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

 

 

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

 

 

6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF.


AMAZING CONCLUSION:


The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

December 23

JOKES x JOKES

 
 
 SOME JOKES FOR U GUYS..KEEP SMILING
 
 
 

Night Pee

An elderly couple go to their doctor for a checkup. The man goes in first. "How're you doing?" asks the doctor.

"Pretty good," answers the old man. "I'm eating well, and I'm still in control of my bowels and bladder. In fact, when I get up at night to pee, the good Lord turns the light on for me."

The doctor decides not to comment on that last statement, and goes into the next room to check on the man's wife.

"How're you feeling?" he asks.

"I'm doing well," answers the old woman. "I still have lots of energy and I'm not feeling any pain."

The doctor says, "That's nice. It sounds like you and your husband are both doing well. One thing though - your husband said that when he gets up to pee at night, the good Lord turns the light on for him. Do you have any idea what he means?"

"Oh No," says the woman, "He's peeing in the refrigerator again."

 

 

Busy Barber

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and half." The guy leaves.

The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then doesn't come back."

A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"

Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house!"

 

 

Trick Question

A man is sitting on his front stoop staring morosely at the ground when his neighbor strolls over. The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds. Finally, the neighbor asks what the problem is.

"Well," the man says, "I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now I'm in the doghouse."

"What kind of question?" the neighbor asks.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was old, fat and ugly."

"That's easy," says the neighbor. "You just say, 'Of course I will'".

"Yeah," says the other man, "that's what I meant to say. But what came out was, 'Of course I do.'"

 

 

Jewelry Store

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled
with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. " I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man.
"There's no money in that account."

"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?".

 

Breast Implants

A couple had been married for several years when suddenly the wife decides she'd like to have breast implants.

The husband says, "Now, honey, you know we can't afford that kind of thing right now."

"But I see you looking at other women," pleaded his wife, "and I want to be as attractive as they are to you."

Days go by and the wife keeps insisting she needs breast implants, despite the protests of her husband. Finally, the husband has had it. So he says to his wife, "Honey, I have an idea. Every day, about twice a day, wad up some toilet paper, then rub it between your breasts. Repeat it 3 or 4 times each time."

"You think that'll make my breasts larger!?" asked his wife.

"Why not?" says the husband, "It worked on your ass!"

At the Dentist

A woman goes into a dentist's office, and after her examination, the dentist says, “I'm sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill that tooth.”

Horrified, the woman replies, “Oh, no! I'd rather have a baby.”

To which the dentist replies, “Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair.”

 

 

Bosses Wife

Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomachache and my legs hurt. I not come work."

The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."

 

 

Math Homework

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.

 

 

Barbecue

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.

"Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!"

The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?


 

                                                   

 

November 23

Words Women Use!!

Words Women Use
Study this and know it!

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'.

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow.

GO AHEAD.

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful
and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

 

HAHAHAHA.. Dont tell me its not truth ladys ;)

November 21

Y DO MEN DIE YOUNGER?!!

 

DAAAAAMN WAKE UP GUYS

THEY DONT DESERVE TO DIE 4

SORRY LADYS

November 04

Test ur eyes

 
TEST YOUR EYES POWER AND GET THE RESULTS DIRECTLY
 
Pls follow the Steps below.
 
1. First close one of your eye.
 
2. Move your mouse point at the red '!".

 
3.  Right click at
the !.
 
4.  Then go (select all).
 
5.  Then u'll see the result.

 

 

                     Stupid !

People ask you to do something and u do it without applying your mind ;)

YOur eye sight is allright,But YoUr Mind has gOt Problem lo0o0o0o0o0ol

Pls don't  b angry ...

I am a VICTIM also..

D@@@MN Story

If you have kids read carefully; if you don't have any and want some prepare yourself.

A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition, she reads it, with  trembling hands:

Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend. I found real passion  and he is so nice, with all his piercings and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But its not only that mom, I'm pregnant and  Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams too. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and for his friends, who  are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray for the science to find the cure for  AIDS, so that Ahmed can get better. He deserves it. Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care  of myself. Some day I'll visit for you to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, it's not true. I'm at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the  school's report card that's in my desk drawer... I love you

You Have No Job??

Spesially For LEBANESE
CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW AND PLAY.ONLY FOR THE LEBANESE PEOPLE WHO ARE SITTING AT HOME BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO CAUSE THERE'S NO WORK IN THE COUNTRY.
 
Click BACK after u finish
 
 

!!Lebanese Logic!!

A Lebanese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for
the loan, so the Lebanese hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, he has the title and
everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's
president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Lebanese for using
a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Lebanese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little
puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
$5,000?"
The Lebanese replies. "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two
weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?".

B Strong hun, Luv u!!

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years.

As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for

money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While

tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on

theneck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy

is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent

lots oftime in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how

he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't

complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction.

This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us.

" Be strong honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was

whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were

cute, andasked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.

" Be strong honey, I love you, too." 

November 03

2 Men & A Woman

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:

 

A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman

B. 2 French men and 1 French woman

C. 2 German men and 1 German woman

D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman

E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman

F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman

G. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman

H. 2 Arabic men and 1 Arabic woman

 

One month later, on various parts of the island, the following was observed:

 

 

*One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

 

*The two French men and the French woman! are living happily together.

 

*The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.

 

* The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.

 

* The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.

 

* The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.......

 

* The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman

 

* The 2 Arabic men are looking for a piece of paper so they can throw their mobile number at the Arabic woman .......!

Bad things can be good!!!

Think Positive!!

This is nice - finding positive out of every negative - which we don't
always manage to do. I am thankful...


1. For the wife who snores all night, because she is at home asleep
with me and not with someone else.

 

 

2. For my teenage daughter who is complaining about doing dishes,
because that means she is at home & not on the streets.

 

 

3. For the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed.

 

4. For the mess to clean after a party because it means that I have
been surrounded by friends.

 

5. For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have
enough to eat.

 

6. For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the
sunshine.


 

7. For a floor that needs mopping, and windows that need cleaning
because it means I have a home.


 

8. For all the complaining I hear about the government because it
means that we have freedom of speech.

  

9. For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot
because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation.

 

10. For the noise I have to bear from my neighbours because it means
that I can hear.


 

11. For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have
clothes to wear.


 

12. For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it
means I have been capable of working hard.

  

13. For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it
means that I am stilll alive.

ONLY FOR ARABS

TRUUUUUTH???
 
1. You make Turkish coffee before leaving home,when getting to
the
office,after lunch, when having guests, before the guests leave,
after the guests leave and before going to bed.
>> >>
2. When shops have sale they call your mom.
>> >>
3. You still have, stored in suitcases, clothes that you used to
wear when you were five .
>> >>
4. You call an olderperson you've never met before "Ammo" or 
"Khaltu".
>> >>
5. You hide everything from your parents, but they still think
they 
know everything about you, and make you believe that they
actually 
do. 
>> >> 
6. People are never happy with what you've achieve; 
 if you  Graduated from school they'll tell you "Oqbal
el  Shahadeh 
el kbeereh", and when u get that "Oqbal el Aroos or Areees", and 
when 
you get that "Oqbal ma nefrah be Aoulad-kum", and when you get
that 
"Oqbal ma tefrahu bi shahadit-hum", etc...
>> >> 
7. If you are a boy you start worrying about the Mukhabarat when 
you reach puberty.
>> >> 
8. Getting a visa to Europe or
the States is like getting a
baby, 
everybody tells you "mabrook"
>> >> 
9.You learn how to beg the personnel at the airport to allow the 
excess baggage you've got as soon as your father stops doing
that 
for you.
>> >> 
10. Your dream is holding a different passport.
>> >> 
11. When you FLY BACK home you find 20 people waiting for you at 
the airport.
>> >> 
13. Every time you fly back home you meet
relatives you never
knew 
existed,and 
 they look nothing like your family.
>> >> 
14. You look for universities as far away from home as possible.
>> >> 
15. You always curse at Arabs when you are back home, but when
you 
live abroad you only make Arab friends.
>> >> 
16. When you come back from University you still have to live
with 
your parents, and fight over curfew allover again, as if you
never 
left 
them before.
>> >> 
17. Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
>> >> 
18. Everyone is a family friend.
>> >>
19. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
>> >> 
20. You teach Westerners to swear words in your language.
>> >> 
21. When you go on a date you start thinking of lousy places
where 
nobody would go to so you wont bump into family or
friends.
>> >>
22. You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative
with the biggest mouth.
>> >>
23. You think you are liberated when you can't even smoke in
public
>> >> 
24. If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you
feel
that you are getting too old.
>> >>
25. Getting married becomes the only way you can escape your
parents.
>> >>
26. You tell your friends how to rebel against their parents
when
you can't even stay out past midnight.
>> >>
27. You always say "Open the light" instead of "Turn the light
on"
or "get down
from the car" instead of "get out of the car."
>> >>
28. You pronounce your p's as b's (bebsi and bolice)
>> >>
29. You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story
of
how he hadto walk miles just to get to
school.
>> >>
30. Your parents were ranked first in school.
>> >>
32. Your dad swears at you with words that affect himself (Ibnil 
kalb)
>> >>
33. You tell everyone that you are a successful businessman back
home" when you are really just an unemployed goat herder.
>> >>
34. You feel uncomfortable saying the word 'tease' in English.
>> >>
35. You smoke as if there is
no tomorrow and you only smoke
MARLBORO REDS.
>> >>
37. You only walk on the streets in groups of seven or more
people
and talk really really loud in Arabic together.
>> >>
38. You wear a black leather jacket, even when it is 100 degrees
outside.
>> >>
39. you think its cool to dance and smoke at the same time
>> >>
40. If you are an Arab girl you give the look of death to
another
Arab girl who looks
better than you.
>> >>
41. Your aunt is always asking when she can dance at your
wedding"
lo0o0o0o0ol DAAAAMN ITS TRUE ISNT IT ????
FADAYE7
October 30

JOKE OF THE DAY

See if you can do this:

Read each line ALOUD! 

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat







Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top
Betcha you can't resist passing it on.

 

lo0o0o0ol m sorry


 

Horoscopes

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